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Ok folks, I know many of us have been here before, so I thought I’d create a space to rant and rave about it. Here’s the situation:
I was at the doctor last week for my yearly physical exam. Which, I have to say was going pretty well, until we got to talking about sexual health. That’s when two things went terribly wrong. Number one was when my doctor said “well, you don’t have to worry about this because you are monogamous” (false, false assumption!). And after I corrected her mistake, she said, “But, the sex you engage in is low risk so it doesn’t matter anyway.”
WTF people! She made two huge assumptions here without EVER asking me a question about my relationship status, sexual history, sexual behavior, or sexual orientation. Actually, she made three assumptions:
1. That I’m in a monogamous relationship (guess I look like the “wholesome” type??)
2. That I only sleep with other female bodied people and
3. That I only engage in sex that is at “low risk” for STI transmission.
And then of course, she made a decision on what types of screenings I should have based entirely on these assumptions. Way to go, Doc!
Sad thing is, it didn’t surprise me all that much. Because this isn’t the first time this has happened. Providers have been making assumptions about my sexual behavior and practices (or lack thereof) since my first GYN visit when I was 18. But still, it’s really disheartening every single time it happens.
So, friends, I want to know your stories. When this happens to you, how do you deal with it? Do you just let it go or say something to correct their mistakes? I know my reaction tends to vary – from just sort of giving up and letting it slide to confronting them right on the spot. In this instance, I was brave and spoke up – explained to her that her assumptions were not all correct and made it clear I wanted to have a more honest conversation about my sexual health.
I’d love to hear any stories involving “re-educating” your health care provider. So, what do you say?
I was at the doctor last week for my yearly physical exam. Which, I have to say was going pretty well, until we got to talking about sexual health. That’s when two things went terribly wrong. Number one was when my doctor said “well, you don’t have to worry about this because you are monogamous” (false, false assumption!). And after I corrected her mistake, she said, “But, the sex you engage in is low risk so it doesn’t matter anyway.”
WTF people! She made two huge assumptions here without EVER asking me a question about my relationship status, sexual history, sexual behavior, or sexual orientation. Actually, she made three assumptions:
1. That I’m in a monogamous relationship (guess I look like the “wholesome” type??)
2. That I only sleep with other female bodied people and
3. That I only engage in sex that is at “low risk” for STI transmission.
And then of course, she made a decision on what types of screenings I should have based entirely on these assumptions. Way to go, Doc!
Sad thing is, it didn’t surprise me all that much. Because this isn’t the first time this has happened. Providers have been making assumptions about my sexual behavior and practices (or lack thereof) since my first GYN visit when I was 18. But still, it’s really disheartening every single time it happens.
So, friends, I want to know your stories. When this happens to you, how do you deal with it? Do you just let it go or say something to correct their mistakes? I know my reaction tends to vary – from just sort of giving up and letting it slide to confronting them right on the spot. In this instance, I was brave and spoke up – explained to her that her assumptions were not all correct and made it clear I wanted to have a more honest conversation about my sexual health.
I’d love to hear any stories involving “re-educating” your health care provider. So, what do you say?
1 Comment:
The stories I could tell... Sadly, I totally share your lack of surprise. Last time I went in for a pap - with a provider RECOMMENDED to me by my friendly local lesbo health org - she asked what kind of birth control i was on (of course). when i said "none" she said, "so you don't need birth control right now?" and i said no. And that was it...no talk about safer sex options, my sexual history/practices/orientation, etc. Oh wait, except when we were, ahem, right in the middle of the examination and she asked me if I wanted kids.
Maybe I should have, but I did not take this opportunity to educate my provider. After having been refused paps because of my sexual history I just wanted to get smeared and get out.
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