Sexual fluidity is seriously hard work.

Being consistently new is damn hard work.

So is being an incredible lover.

Reveling in the fluidity of our sexualities however seems to be the easiest thing of all.

Case in point: O Magazine's "Why Women Are Leaving Men for Other Women" does a great job of presenting a nuanced article on queer women's sexuality. Seriously. Go read it - shit ain't bad. Mary A. Fischer rocks.

The campy-pulp-fiction-titled article talks about gender, sexuality, different labels, and really includes complicated personal stories. Often times these magazines and talk shows want an exemplary lesbian who has a story that is simple enough to be communicated in a 45 second clip. None of these folks are that. Which is just delightful to see. Its also really exciting to think that we are in a place where real stories can be published in a mainstream women's magazine. Its no longer the only story. The only voice. The only example. Which is why we are allowed to be messy.

I love messy.

And besides, Judith Halberstam is a super smart gender theorist. How exciting to have such a smart person talked about in a mainstream woman's magazine like O - with multiple pronouns used. (Macarena Gomez-Barris, way to rep for the femme sisterhood)

As AfterEllen.com and Grace Chu's post points out: they could have done better coverage of femininity across the boards. I'd like to hear about how several of the folks interviewed see their own femininity in relation to more masculine partners. As well as their own masculinity. However, femininity is something we as a community are still figuring out how to talk about. And it is reflected in the article.

The article says that "sexual fluidity" is a buzzword. Saweet.

I'd include with that "gender fluidity." Which they seem to tackle within sexual fluidity, but warrants its own naming (sexuality, gender and attraction all warrant their own categories). Hell, its something we are constantly negotiating as queer women - at work, in relationships, in friendships, on the street. And negotiating differently in different situations.

PS - Its true: queer women are all fabulous lovers, all the time. None of us are crazy stalker types that suck in bed.